Visibility Without the Vanity

Part 1 – Visibility Without the Vanity (A Summary)

Suzanne:
Welcome to Success Without Social Media. I'm Suzanne Culberg, joined by Laura Gates Lupton, and this is Part One: Visibility Without the Vanity.

So much of social media has become all about the influencer lifestyle and vanity metrics - likes, shares, comments, and followers. But we’re talking about business. Whether you’re a coach, consultant, social media manager, copywriter, or website designer, if you’re running a service or product-based business, you’re not an influencer. This isn’t a guide to getting more followers.

Laura:
Exactly. What’s missing from social media, in my experience, is genuine relationship-building, which is essential for running a business. We're talking about building meaningful relationships with potential clients, without relying on social media.

Suzanne:
Yes! Social media started as a way to connect. I remember the early Facebook days when it really felt like that. But now it’s shifted - it's more about selling than socializing. You can’t form a real connection if every comment feels like bait to turn someone into a customer.

Laura:
Just look back at your old Facebook memories, it’s obvious how much it’s changed. I joined in 2009, and it’s nothing like it was then.

Suzanne:
I got on in 2007, and wow - 20-something-year-old me was a whole other vibe. But yeah, while it can be useful for looking back, trying to build a business on social now? It’s just not worth the effort for the return you get.

Laura:
Even if you do get a few clients from social, the amount of energy it takes to constantly post and engage... there are easier ways.

Suzanne:
Plus, you don’t control who sees your content. You could have 10,000 followers and only reach 100 of them. It’s a losing game. So let’s be clear - this isn’t about beating the algorithm. There are a million books for that.

What we’re focused on is success without social media. And first, we need to define what counts as social media for this conversation.

Laura:
Good point. So for this book, we’re mainly talking about Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Those are our three primary platforms.

Suzanne:
Right. We’ll touch on LinkedIn, YouTube, and Substack - they’re more nuanced. While they do have social components, they also serve other purposes.

Laura:
Substack has “Notes” and “Chat” now, which makes it feel more social.

Suzanne:
Exactly. But platforms like Substack, YouTube, and even LinkedIn can be used in a non-social way - purely for publishing. Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, on the other hand, are designed around social interaction and offer no direct way to gather data or connect off-platform without asking people to leave it.

Laura:
But let’s be clear, this isn’t about not using the internet. We both use the internet - we met online and have been friends for five years without meeting in person. This is not about going back to mailing out newsletters by post.

Suzanne:
Though honestly, handwritten letters could be a business model! Not for me - my hand cramps - but you never know.

The other factor is content half-life. Posts on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok disappear into the feed within hours. They’re not searchable, not indexed by Google. But on YouTube - and even Substack - your content has a longer shelf life. I’ve had YouTube videos take off a year after publishing because they got picked up by search.

Laura:
On Substack, I can see when someone finds me and binge-reads all my past posts. It’s so satisfying to know your work is being discovered over time.

Suzanne:
Totally. And beyond that, there are blogs, podcasts, and online communities like Slack, Skool, Circle, or Heartbeat. Are they social media? Maybe. But the key question is: is your audience comfortable using them, or willing to learn?

I moved my group from Facebook to Heartbeat, but found I had to teach people how to use it, and most weren’t interested. People open Facebook out of habit - even when they complain about it.

Laura:
Exactly. I’m still there for the groups I like, but definitely not as much as I used to be.

Suzanne:
And then there are summits. They’re not technically social media, but they often rely on it for promotion. Many are delivered via private podcast or hosted platforms, but the content is temporary. So the question becomes: what’s the half-life of your content? Long-term (like YouTube)? Or short-term (like a summit)?

And how much effort are you willing to put in? I do a lot of summits, but I don’t go all out because it’s only live for a week. Others might say, “First impressions matter!” - you get to decide.

Laura:
That’s a great point. And also - do you collect emails from what you’re doing? Who owns your list? If you’re using platforms like Substack or your own email list, you have that direct access.

Suzanne:
Yes! If you take nothing else from this chapter, take this: whatever you’re doing - why are you doing it? What’s your next step for people? Whether it’s a blog, podcast, or in-person event - do you give them a clear way to stay connected?

We don’t own our audience on social media. But with email, we have direct contact - no middleman.

Laura:
So many people find me by replying to my newsletter. That’s how conversations start.

Suzanne:
Me too. People often ask how I get so many replies. It’s simple: I ask! I include a question and invite replies.

Laura:
And people need to know you actually want to hear from them.

Suzanne:
Yes! And I assume people are busy, so if they haven’t asked for replies, I usually don’t send one - unless it’s a heartfelt response and I’m clear I’m not trying to be sold to.

Laura:
That makes sense. So, since we’re talking about success without social media - how do you define success in that context?

Suzanne:
For me, it’s about growth - fresh faces finding me without social media. Whether through my newsletter, YouTube, summits - people are coming into my world.

In my business, people often follow me for 18 months before buying. I’ve tried to shorten that, but the work I do is deep - it takes time and trust.

And again, it depends on your business. If you sell stationery, people might buy on the spot. If you’re a coach like me, it takes longer.

Laura:
Same here. People follow me a while before hiring me. My work is around money, which comes with a lot of shame and emotion. It takes trust.

And honestly, this approach is also a filter. My newsletter helps potential clients know who I am and what I believe. If they’ve been reading it and then reach out, they’re usually a good fit.

Suzanne:
Yes! Social media tends to attract people looking for a quick fix. That’s not the kind of work I do. If someone wants a magic wand, they’re not my person.

Laura:
And I like long-form content. Social media is all about bite-sized posts, but I want to go deep - and I want clients who do too.

Suzanne:
Exactly. Podcasts, newsletters, long posts - that’s how we work. And asking someone to read or listen to something long-form takes trust. You have to earn it.

Laura:
Still, it’s good to have content in different lengths to meet people where they’re at - but the core of my work isn’t short-form.

Suzanne:
Same. Well, that wraps up Part One - thanks for listening!

Laura:
See you in Part Two!